Since being engaged, I’ve gotten both compliments about my relationship and questions about having a strong, healthy relationship. Having a healthy relationship should be what we all aim for and it shouldn’t be hard to achieve. I honestly don’t think there is any formula or guidelines that you have to follow because not one person (and relationship) are the same. However, I do think there are a few components that do aid in making your relationship healthy and well. I am not a relationship guru but, I do want to share 5 healthy relationship tips that I believe continue to work for my relationship.
Communication
Everyone says communication is key and why? Because it is the truth. If you can’t communicate and talk with someone, how is your relationship with them going to grow? I don’t just mean communicating when you have problems but just talking with them. I like to talk especially when I’m with my friends and fiance. I can literally talk Christian’s ear off for hours because he’s my best friend, I genuinely love talking to him, and we can have great conversations about anything. That’s how a relationship should be.
On top of that, you do need to be able to talk about issues, things that bother you, and whatever is on your mind. When you disagree, when you’re arguing, when you don’t like something, you need to talk it out and express yourself. Bottling things up is not healthy and can lead to problems that didn’t need to be created. I think a lot of people choose to just stay quiet and ignore problems which in the end blows up. Talk to each other!
Comfortability
You need to be comfortable with one another and when I say comfortable, I mean c-o-m-f-o-r-t-a-b-l-e! I truly laugh and just can’t fathom when people say that they can’t fart in front of their partner or burp when they’ve been dating for over 5 years! Like what? I don’t understand. I can’t be with someone that I can’t 100% be myself with. I always say that Christian is honestly the only person that I am 100% with and that’s because he loves and accepts me and that is what you want.
Comfortability is all about acceptance and if you feel like you have to change yourself around someone or can’t be real then this person isn’t for you honey.
Be Connected On All Levels
Your energy has to click girl! You need to be connected and feel somewhat the same.
Also, you should definitely be connected on the four elements– mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. If you’re not on the same wavelength with that, you’re just asking for arguments. For example, with spirituality, if you share different beliefs, that may cause a ton of arguments just like if you share different political stances. Even your emotional state because if you’re someone who is more emotional and your partner can’t comprehend and makes a scene and gets annoyed or angry then…that’s unhealthy. You don’t have to be 100% on the same page but at least learn to understand each other. I prefer to be at least 95% on the same page though because why be with someone who you always have to agree to disagree with?
Have Fun
You need to have fun! This can link to comfortability because sometimes people don’t show their true colors when they are not comfortable. However, when you are comfortable with one another, make sure you’re vibing and going crazy. There’s nothing better than having fun within your relationship. It makes your relationship healthier and stronger when you can just dance at midnight and have no care in the world.
Also,
Equality
My last tip is equality! We are not in the 1950s. Women are not just here for cleaning and pleasure. Most men today do understand and know that but there are some who still think that they should be on a throne. I am not one of those girls and I will tell a man off. My friends like to joke about my distaste for men but
I believe in equal rights and that men and women should be doing the same amount of work within a relationship. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of big projects and whatever else. Even better, do those things together! It’s a part of bonding. In reality, most women don’t like the pressure of being a “50s woman” but don’t speak up about it. I suggest when you get into a relationship, you set this in stone and make sure both parties know what’s up.
Before I go, I just want to say that relationships don’t need to be extra or be hard to be healthy and good. I think because of social media, we believe that we have to live up to a certain expectation and be “goals,” Also, we listen to other’s input too much when all that should matter are your own. You simply just need to care about each other and focus on each other. Otherwise, you’re going to drive your relationship into the mud.
Also, if you haven’t discovered your 5 love languages, I suggest doing so!
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Xoxo,
Shay