Good morning readers of sjkaine! How are you this beautiful morning? I am doing wonderful this morning! Drank a smoothie, ate my some eggs, it has been a great morning!
Today’s post is all about loving yourself and feeling good. The topic of confidence is something I feel almost all people go through and it doesn’t get discussed enough. Now, I am not someone who is professionally adequate to give advice on this topic however, I am someone who can share my own take on it.
So, I wanted to share how I’ve been gaining confidence and how this journey has made me feel. Let’s get into it!
What is Confidence?
In my own words, confidence is believing in yourself and knowing that you can accomplish anything. Simple as that. I think that when we hear the word confidence, we immediately get nervous and think it means you have to be on the level of a celebrity or Instagram model. Wrong. Yes, celebrities and influencers are amazing and carry themselves with high self-esteem but, it didn’t happen overnight. I believe everyone once in their life has struggled with feeling confident and happy but, they overcame it and we can too.
Confidence is all about how you’re feeling and what you think not what anybody else thinks (which can be hard.) For many people, including myself, our flaws were always pointed out by other people so confidence is hard to find but you’ve got to try. Embarking on a confidence journey is hard but you can start small and it’ll still make a huge impact!
Everyone can be confident once they accept themselves and stop listening to outside voices.
Journey To Confidence
I can openly and honestly say that I have struggled with confidence growing up and at 21 years old, I still have my moments. Growing up was hard and as children, words hurt more and stick longer. From people saying I wasn’t pretty or I looked “okay” to being made fun of for being dark-skinned and African and wearing braids; I was teased. I was called weird or an “oreo” because I liked different things than my peers. I was into comics, anime, my music taste was wide and that’s not what middle schoolers liked back in 2010. I was always made to feel out-of-place and I felt like I never fit in with any group.
My confidence lacked tremendously to the point where I was forgetting who I was, just to fit in with people and feel better about myself. No Bueno. Doing that really messes with your mindset and makes you feel low. I remember wishing I could be someone else (sigh.) I would feel so uncomfortable to speak and be around certain people because I was afraid they would judge me and say something negative and if you struggle with anxiety like myself, it makes everything worse.
But, fast forward to 2018, I told myself that I TRULY want to focus on myself and learn ways to love myself wholeheartedly. I can proudly say I am learning and on an amazing journey. Even though life growing up was hard, it still made me want to be better and, become a strong, confident woman who loves herself. So, I started doing things differently and treating myself the way I treated others.
For starters, creating this blog was a big step in my confidence journey. I knew I wanted to incorporate blogging into my career and that I had to start now. I was a little nervous because I’ve made blogs in the past that have failed and I felt discouraged but, look at me now! I also started with treating myself the way I treated others. Would you intentionally say nasty, mean things to someone? If the answer is no, why say it to yourself?
Also, I wake up, look in the mirror and admire my skin, face and call myself beautiful. Believing that you’re beautiful internally and externally is very important. I became more involved with fashion and started to embrace it more and dress how I liked and use it as self-expression. I dress for me and wear what I want. I’m not too bothered with trends! As I started to become more spiritual and create a relationship with Jesus, I prayed to him about healing me and blessing me with great strengths and he did because ya know, God is lit. Seriously, when you pray to him, he truly does answer your prayers!
My boyfriend and friends have also immensely played a role in all of this as well. Cliche but, you need to surround yourself with good people! People who hype you up and tell you how amazing you are and push you to be a better you. My boyfriend, on the other hand, loves me and tells me I’m beautiful and that I’m his muse. He pushes me to do the things I’m afraid to do and supports me all the way.
So, the person I am today is way more confident than the younger me. I am proud to have dark skin and curly, kinky hair. I love my body and my interests. I think I’m pretty cool. Honestly, you’ve got to be a little narcissistic too (in a good way though.) Look at yourself in the mirror and say “damn, girl. You look fire.” Hype yourself up! Be around people who hype you up! Take raw photos and smile more! Just by doing little things to remind myself that I was beautiful and amazing, confidence was starting to build. I am starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
How can YOU find Confidence?
Confidence won’t happen overnight but, doing little, small “rituals” every day will help you reach it sooner. For starters, you need to be nicer to yourself! Stop listening to society and comparing yourself to others. That will never make you happy. These celebrities and Instagram influencers we all obsess over started from the bottom just like the rest of us. Honestly, we all have to remember that there are always going to be people that have more than us and, to succeed, you’ve got to accept that. Being obsessive and sad over it will only to keep you in negative energy.
Secondly, stop caring about what others say and think positively. If someone has something to say, let them! Yes, we are humans and sometimes words can hurt but, stand back up straight! People and society will always be negative so let them and worry about yourself. Once you start thinking positively, your entire aura and energy will change! You’ll be happy and want to live life more. Also, accept that you’re human and can (will) make mistakes. Its life and we all mess up at times but dwelling on it doesn’t help anyone.
Another thing to do is set up personal goals! Creating a list of things you want to accomplish or doing things that make you afraid, will surely help. It’ll allow you to step out of your comfort zone which is what we all need to do more often! Also, remember that there is always someone out there who likes the same things you do and shares the same similarities as you so, don’t be afraid to be who you truly are.
Lastly, if you’re spiritual and have faith in whatever and whomever, use it. I am a Christian and praying to God for anything helps. I can pray and ask him to heal and bless me and he does! If you’re not spiritual, I would suggest maybe trying to figure out what works for you because I truly believe that as humans, we weren’t created to solely depend on ourselves and those around us 24/7. So, try something out!
That is all! I know saying these are easier than actually doing it but, you have to try! That is the only way this journey can work and lead to a better, happier life.
Outfit Details
Top: Forever 21 Yellow Crop Top
Bottoms: Thrift Store
Bag: Calvin Klein Mini Backpack
Sunglasses: Forever 21
I hope you enjoyed this blog post! I plan on doing more topic conversational posts like these because I love discussing things! Share some of your confidence tips down below, I would love to hear them!
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Xoxo,
Shay! Bye!